Stunning Linguists Everywhere

Oh, me.

2007-03-22T18:04:29Z

Would someone give me special dispensation to wander out the door and take a nap on a bench somewhere? Made it outside for all of 8 minutes today, and it's something like 75 degrees outside. I believe I swore that I'd play hooky the next time it was this nice, and of course it happens today...

My next post (tomorrow) will be from sunny Palm Springs.

Spicy

2007-03-21T16:42:34Z

Holy Moses, it's been SIX DAYS since I posted. I'm sorry, Ell-Jay. I've betrayed you.

I don't actually have a mountain of time to spend now, as the past six days have been spent largely swimming in the particular variety of chunky crap soup that seems to be the special of the fucking month around these parts.

In brief, I've been working on a project for the better part of 12 months that was mandated by an executive committee here at the old work farm. This project launched yesterday, and will be completed in Palm Springs this weekend and early next week. I've been leading a work group putting said project together for the better part of the past 12 months and one WEEK before the launch of said project, the #3 in command of this little outfit (it's a big outfit, so being #3 is, um, BIG) decided to go insane and question every single aspect of said well-thought-out plan. Meetings were held, passive aggressive glances were exchanged, more work was created.

The upshot of all this is that a) not a damn thing has changed, but a lot more wheels have been spinning; b) everyone involved is pissed off and demoralized; c) the project is, so far, running like gangbusters, but no one can appreciate it because they're either seething or congratulating themselves on having "intervened" when they did (which was, in substance, not at all).

I'm not the sort of person who covers up when he screws up. Seriously. I take credit for all my fuck-ups, loudly and in public. This isn't one of them. This is honestly the most rigorous rogering I've ever gotten for the best job of work I've ever done as a professional. If the money wasn't so damn good I'd quit tomorrow. My former boss used to say of things like this -- "It's a shit sandwich, served piping hot." Amen.

In other news, I'm watching Dr. Who at night and loving the bejesus out of it.

I'm feeling much too secure

2007-03-16T00:59:12Z

A couple weeks ago, at a particularly embarrassing moment, the charge card I use the most chose to fail. Now, having had troubles in the past, I stay in pretty close touch with my balances, and I knew there was plenty of juice but -- no go. As I've become accustomed to doing, I rolled with the punches, and the situation was worked out satisfactorily. (No dishes had to be washed.)

As it turns out, the bank had reissued 7,000 cards -- one of them mine -- because the numbers had been "compromised." Now, this is the first I had heard of the issue, but good enough. Thanks for looking out for me, please get me my card soon.

Two weeks, no card, it's "in transit." SO -- I'm using an alternate card. I go to Home Depot, get some gas, wash my car (yes, I washed my car last night (it was 75 degrees; now it's 40 and raining; clearly my fault). Today I get off the train, ready to get my ass home and watch some Good Eats. Card doesn't work. Try different machine. Still doesn't work. Fidget. Try same machine three more times. Still no go. Pay cash, drive home, get on horn.

Wait for FUGGIN EVER. The paragraph break here is used to denote the fuggin-ness of the ever I waited.

Guess what? Apparently there's been a LOT OF ACTIVITY on my card! I authorize all of said unusual transactions and all is well, but honestly.

I think I'd rather be a little more at risk and a little more certain that I can use my money when I want to.

_________________________________________________________

Which reminds me that I'm always fond of saying that anyone who wants to steal my identity is welcome to it.

Geeking out and busy...

2007-03-15T18:54:06Z

Hello, dear flist. I don't have much to say today, except that I've spent the past six hours negotiating office politics and not getting a STICK of work done.

Also, I just started writing an alternative Firefly episode/screenplay last night, which may well the the single geekiest thing I've ever done or admitted to, and I have a long history in that regard.

Also, it is HELLA nice outside. I wish I had left all my windows open when I left this morning. Can't wait for the great spring Airing Out.

Making lemonade out of cyan...ade?

2007-03-14T17:56:19Z

Well, the favorites links are gone, daddy, gone. Some of them I will remember because I lurve them, some of them will fall by the wayside, and some will remain shimmering images of What Once Was. I'm declaring it Spring Cleanin'!

Here's how you can help: Send me two or three (or more!) of your favorite links. Blogging, shopping, graphics -- anything. Every little bit helps. If I had a Sally Struthers icon, I'd use it now, but I don't think I'd ever have another use for a Struthers icon, so I won't.

PS If it's porn, just let me know so I don't crack it open at work. I know some of you were thinking about it.

There's no icon to describe how I feel right now

2007-03-14T16:28:11Z

I don't usually "omg" -- but OMG. One of our IT people just came around and did a quick "upgrade" (they've been doing that constantly since daylight savings) and I lost every one of my "favorites" links. Every. Single. One. Links to comics, to blogs, to people's Amazon wishlists, to funweird artsites. Everything. I feel like a room in my house just vaporized.

:-(

The good, the bad, and the ugly

2007-03-14T16:22:12Z

Good: Firefly! If I knew how to type the Homer Simpson patented drool noise, I'd insert it here.

Bad: I'm all done. No more episodes. Cry me a river.

Ugly: My bill at iTunes, where I purchased every one of those suckers. Is it evidence of my need to get some life that I want to watch them all over again, like TONIGHT?

Good: The weather outside. Have you ever noticed that just looking at the sky you can TELL it's warm out. I mean, the 70-degree blue sky looks different to me than the 20-degree blue sky. Not sure how, and I'm probably making it up, but it does.

Bad: I'm stuck here in front of this computer for 5.25 more hours. Not that I don't heart you people. I really do.

Ugly: Making me come back in after my lunch break. It's gonna get ugly.

I am marching my ass outside to breathe some 70 degree air.

2007-03-13T16:23:11Z

If I don't post later, it's because I've run off with the too-damn-warm-to-be-at-work-today gypsies. I might, alternatively, be drinking beer outside at Bobby Van's and waiting to be fired.

I should've gotten some boots

2007-03-13T14:23:12Z

You know, I really kinda like Texas. It's big. It's warm. There's lots of BBQ, and people don't seem to really give much of a damn what you do. I'm not saying I'm moving there tomorrow, but for the price of my 975 square foot condo, a person can buy a 4-bedroom HOUSE. With a POOL. A POOL. That's all I'm sayin'.

You wouldn't think that being out of the office for one day, and that one day being a Monday, that things could pile up so. But they do. It's sort of delightful to come back to, though -- I feel so popular. I can't wait to go home and check my mailbox -- someone is sending me entertainment in the mail and I am nearly out of Firefly, so excitement defcon levels increaseth.

This post has no point or direction. I'm back in town, my desk is piled high with work, it's going to be 70F outside today, and if all isn't entirely right with the world, things ain't all that bad either, which is a start, right?

You know what rocks?

2007-03-09T20:30:23Z

You know you know. Friggin' Firefly! Holy moses, why didn't anyone TELL me how good this show is? Okay, okay -- a lot of people told me. Why didn't anyone duct tape my legs together and FORCE me to watch it?? I've watched 5 episodes in two days, and I have a long-ish flight tonight, which means -- oh, yeah -- MORE EPISODES.

Tasty, tasty TV.

Now, if there's something else this cool that I haven't already seen, would somebody please tell me? I promise I'll watch. Also, I know Firefly was cut down in its prime, so I'm going to need to front-load some comfort watching when the grieving process starts.

What do you spend money on?

2007-03-09T15:29:23Z

BK's recent money-meme got me thinking about something this morning. I blow through money sometimes like a sailor on a one-night shore leave. Things I'm likely to toss money at without thinking twice:

Food: Restaurants, sandwiches at work, big grocery shops, bagels, coffee, coffee, coffee...

Drinx: I'm not a booze hound (well, okay, I might be by SOME definitions), but mainly I just love going to a pub, and when I'm flush I love standing friends' drinks. That's gotta be SOME kind of mitzvah, right?

Books: Oh good lord. Amazon was made to bankrupt me. Something just arrived this morning. No, I'm serious.

iTunes: See Amazon. If you want to see my money, they've got it.

Poker: Actually, not much anymore. I've cured myself of this one, mainly because most of the people I used to play with live miles and miles away, but I am one of those "If I just keep playing, it'll even out" players. Never at casinos, actually, only with friends. I think it has something to do with saving face or some kind of machismo thing. Hey, if I can admit it that's half the battle, right?

There's more, but I need to go, um, buy a cup of coffee.

What do you spend money on?

You know what I like? Magnets.

2007-03-07T14:51:10Z

But not as much as this guy.

I loves

2007-03-07T14:09:31Z

Keep lookin'.

Yay Black Monday!

2007-03-06T18:41:30Z

I can't comment on Heroes today, because I was running late and had to skip the first 30 minutes (iTunes purchase in 5...4...3...2...).

The Black Donnellys, however, rocked! I admit I had some fears about signing on for another show addiction, but this one pleezes me.

My favorite lunch-hour's-almost-over moment? The axe in the back seat of the car! I had heard that there was an axe-wielding villain on the way, and I confess I was a little worried about how that would shake out, but... PERFECT.

It's all about the presidents, baby

2007-03-05T17:48:54Z

I seem to be posting like a maniac today. Maybe this will put me in my place.

View Poll: Is it too early for a straw poll?

I guess it's better than forgetting my pants...

2007-03-05T17:03:06Z

So I've been feeling kind of weird today. I walked out of the house with that feeling you sometimes have, you know, "What am I forgetting?" Wallet, check. I-Pod, check. Keys, check. Cell phone, check. Sundry small bits of paper in coat pockets, chex.

So I just realized I forgot to put on a belt this morning. Now, my pants aren't hanging around my knees or anything, it's really just a fashion thing, but it's still a mildly odd, naked feeling.

Beltlessness.

Thank you, Interweb!

2007-03-05T15:48:06Z

Finally effing found 'em.

If my 19-year old self could travel to the future and see how excited I am about finding this flooring, I think he'd probably push me down some stairs. Kids these days.

Everybody does such exciting things!

2007-03-05T15:14:38Z

Burlesque shows, shopping sprees, dinners, parties, drink-a-thons. Weekends to be envied.

After finally picking up my rebuilt truck (the part from Tennessee arrived Saturday morning and it took them all of two hours to fix the thing once they had it -- too bad it's an entire paycheck's worth of repair!), I basically drove from home outlet to home outlet picking up products for The Great Bathroom Remodel. By Sunday evening the back of the truck was so full of consumer goods I felt as if I ought to pull over to the corner and start vending my wares.

The only thing that has eluded me is 70 square feet worth of these white hexagon floor tiles with a pretty little cobalt blue tile in the middle of each 12"x12" square. Lowes carries them, but of course in the store they only had like 10 square feet worth. TEN. That's like, if you want to tile your closet. If it's not too big. I'm trying to order them online, but according to Lowes.com the product doesn't exist.

I usually don't deploy too much of the Web lingo, but I believe this is a perfect time to say WTF.

S.E.X.

2007-03-02T15:28:10Z

I work in the financial sector, here in DC. I'm not a CPA or anything, I just happen to work inside the belly of a large industry association.

Anyway, like many people in DC, I often find myself having to type lots of acronyms into my E-mail correspondence. DOL, DOTRES, ERISA.... SEC.

If you haven't noticed, the "C" is right next to the "X" on the keyboard. I swear (and yes, it's probably my subconscious working in overdrive -- it's been a little while, people) EVERY time I type "SEC" in an email, I first type "SEX." I live in fear that I will send some high functionary an email liberally peppered with SEX.

Attention, Co-Worker

2007-03-01T21:59:04Z

Dear Co-worker:

Please note that when I sent you an E-mail on Monday passing along two separate-but-related projects, and signed my note "please let me know if you need anything else to get this rolling," that my (admittedly cryptic) intention was to let you know that if you needed anything else to get things rolling, I would tell you. If you let me know. I know -- it's confusing.

Now that that's clear, allow me to request that you refrain from sending me bitchy, in-your-face, bullying E-mails demanding information that you could have just for the asking. If you're in that much of a fucking rush, perhaps next time you could respond to me on the day I sent the E-mail in the first place? Hm? Just a thought.

Don't think I didn't go out on my lunch break and crank up the Dropkick Murphys in my earphones and seethe and think of ways to lay my vengeance upon thee. Oh, seethe I did. I did seethe.

Thanks!

Me.

Oh, this is what the subject line meant....

2007-03-01T14:48:59Z

Completely forgot to ask -- Has anyone read The Watchmen? I just started it last night!

(Damn that first version was LAWRGE)

Who is Watching?

2007-03-01T14:41:57Z

First, I've been remiss in posting to LJ. Not that there's anyone out there to hold me accountable, or hanging on my updated words, but still. It's good to maintain, isn't it? I have no excuse except that the conference I'm running in Palm Springs is 22 days away and currently breathing down my neck like a big, hairy close-talker.

Also in the news --

My reign of terror on man-made equipment continues, as I had to put my "new" used car in the shop when the transmission started smoking on the way to the train station. Apparently the "front differential" is shot. I like to pretend I know what I'm talking about, and I did look up "front differential" online, but honestly, they could just as well tell me that the dilithium crystals need to be changed. What do I know? What I do know is it's about one paycheck's worth of bad. On the sunny side of the street, I'm driving a brill new rental.

I haven't written a word in weeks and weeks. I'm bummed about this but also not feeling terribly motivated. Winter, maybe. Sigh. (I confess I have a total pet peeve about writers who complain about writing -- so I'm stopping it here.)

More to write, but work calls.

Where's the Grace in Seattle?

2007-02-23T15:15:07Z

Okay, does anyone (who watches) think that Grey's Anatomy has totally jumped the shark? Don't get me wrong -- I'm in too deep to stop watching it -- but I set before you the evidence, gathered just in the past 4 episodes:

- A double proposal (this was right on the edge -- they could have pulled it off, but...)

- A Vegas wedding (thank GOD we didn't have to actually see it happen)

- A huge public disaster (which apparently, while requiring all of the interns to rush to the scene, did not result in any substantial amount of work at Seattle Grace, as nearly everyone was either moping about or working on bringing Meredith back to life for two hours following the ferry smash-up)

- A major character "dying" -- I have a strong opinion here about characters dying... if you're going to kill a character, they should stay dead. It's harsh, I know, but people do die, and it's good drama. If you don't want the LEAD CHARACTER to die, well, don't. kill. her.

- An afterlife scene -- an AFTERLIFE SCENE, including a Denny cameo and an appearance by bomb-squader Kyle Chandler! (who should have just worn his coach's jacket -- don't get me wrong, I love Friday Night Lights, but come on...)

- An encounter with freshly-deceased Mama Grey IN THE AFTERLIFE -- 'nuff said on that

I'm just... speechless. I'll continue to watch the show, but I feel as if this has gone from being one of the more moving shows on network TV to some sort of bizarre focus-group-fueled Bizarro version of itself. Did one of the writers get the flu? Were they really afraid they wouldn't rate during Sweeps? I mean, really.

If I so much as see a trailer for a "wedding episode" for Burke and Christina, I swear to Jeebus....

E-lectricity, E-lectricity.

2007-02-20T20:28:43Z

My weekend was sacrificed to the home improvement gods. You do know that those whom the home improvement gods wish to destroy, they first drive mad, right? 'S true.

The Project: Install and rewire 5 lights in my condo. Futz with some switches, general improvement.

The Moment of Hubris: I'm not exactly sure how to wire a two-way switch. I'm pretty sure it involves something called a pigtail; I was also pretty sure I did exactly what the DIY notes I had on hand recommended.

The Upshot: My fuse box did not agree with my assessment. If the fuse box had been my prom date, it would have kicked me in the nads and taken my wallet.

The Conclusion: I'm pretty sure I spent the same amount of money on repairs as I would have had I hired an electrician for the whole job. At least the new lights look pretty now, though.

In Retrospect: There might have been more-enjoyable, better-smelling ways to spend the weekend.

I am Such a Sap

2007-02-16T19:30:53Z

Here's the deal --

I like listening to podcasts and stuff on my iPod during my lunch break. I like reading, too, but sometimes it's hard to read a book or magazine behind the desk while fumbling with a sandwich. So I pod (I think that's the way to conjugate it.)

I don't know about you, but my listening day is divided into zones. In the morning when I get ready to leave (and in the car on the way to the station): NPR. In the train, some kind of audiobook. Walk from the station to the office: RAWK (gotta get my Irish up for the day, no?). More music on the way home at night, because my wee brain usually hurts by then.

Lunchtime, though, is often as not This American Life.

I've waxed about this radio show before, but truly it doth rock.

The only problem is that some of the shows are so damn moving and I have this problem with leaky eyes. It happens all the time -- movies, TV, watching the news. I'm not a big cryer, per se, but when something hits me right there (you have to imagine that last part in a wheezy choked up voice), I get a little teary. Okay?! Don't judge me.

This part of my personality doesn't bother me so much, except that a lot of times when I'm done with lunch I re-open my office door for business (LOVE having a door), my face looks like someone just called to say my puppy died.

Sniffles,

JMS